When faced with despair in others, you have to ask yourself, what perspective have they unwittingly chosen, and how can you help them choose a different perspective? What is their range of experience? Where can they see themselves going from here?

Perspective can change your life; past, present and future. You can choose how you decide to "see" an event, an action, an unkind word, a history. For example, take two people who experience a stifling childhood. One takes the perspective that they were robbed of opportunities and therefore expect to lead a mediocre life. The other sees their stifling childhood as what gave them strength, resilience, and passion to live the remainder of their life to its fullest. The latter chooses to see that experience as a stepping-stone to something better, rather than a weight that drags them down.

Yes, perspective can change your life… and if you see it as a choice, then, by extension you can choose your life.

Cheers,
Genevieve.

Excellent question, Tim

For me, the best way to apply perspective in a way that everyone can understand is to take those “big deals” to their logical conclusion. Regardless of life experience, nobody ever worries about what is happening, they worry about what might happen next. When you are on the edge, you’re not worried about being too close, you are worried about falling…until you fall…then you’re no longer worried about falling…you’re worried about stopping. It is the uncertainty that causes alarm. So help them over their uncertainty by using your experience to help them draw their own conclusions about the possibilities. “Let’s say that this all goes wrong – what will that look like? What is the worst that can happen?” That is a good line of questioning to help people realize that the “worst” thing often isn’t unmanageable.

Then – “If that happens that way, what can we do about it?” What is our plan then?”

Your experience has reset your baseline for a bad day, Tim. For those with less…experience, talking their concerns out to the possible ends is often all it takes to set the fear of that thing aside and take meaningful action.

Best,

Mario

I am working as the associate editor of Maritime Gateway, a magazine that caters to ports, shipping and logistics. I would like to invite you to write an article for us. Would be glad to have your email ID. My email id is: radhika@gatewaymedia.in

-Regards
Radhika

My first wife passed away in 2002 after a long illness. I remember waking up every morning and checking to see if she was breathing – usually I was relieved that she was, but on some days her suffering was so bad I wasn’t. That 7-year experience changed me in many ways, one big one was perspective. I’ve tried to infuse some of this perspective in my teenagers – trips to third-world countries with their church youth group have helped.

Question for you, I know life-changing perspective is priceless in a crisis, but I have sometimes wondered how best to apply its lessons day-to-day. For example, how do you best harness it to address issues that your people have that aren’t that big a deal in light of your perspective, but are to them in light of theirs?

Tim Q

I was saddened at your reminder of the Cynthia Wood's tragedy. I remember reading about Roger Stone's heroics and sacrifice. (The "crew" Mr. Conway mentioned was trapped because he pushed two students out of the vessel as it foundered, leaving no time for him to save himself.) Your own actions that day leave no doubt that you are one of "those guys." Thank you for your dedicated service and mostly for your selflessness. Like the perspective you have well earned, it is a rare thing.

Mario

My very short message that I got from the experience is similar —
LIFE IS WONDERFUL – SAVOR IT

When I say savor it, I mean the little things; the taste of a bite of steak, a sip of wine, holding your grandson for the 1,000th time.

Steven Conway
CDR USCG (Ret)
USCGA Class of '75